Pope gets jumped at Christmas - 25/12/2009
From: The Beeb!
A shaken Pope Benedict has said Christmas Eve Mass in St Peter’s shortly after being knocked over by a spectator who jumped a barrier.
She is awesome.
The woman, said to be totally sane of mind, managed to grab him by his vestments near the neck area as a security guard tried to overwhelm her.
Apparently he totally failed.
The Vatican said she had also tried to jump at the Pope last year.
She failed last year, won this time. Karma evens out.
French Cardinal Roger Etchegaray, 87, was standing a few metres away and fell and broke his leg during the incident.
Oh dear. What a crying shame.
Proceeding with the Mass, Benedict looked shaken and stumbled over some words.
The Pope?! Stumbling?! Sack him!
The service in the Vatican started two hours early because officials did not want the pontiff, 82, to get tired.
This is the Pope, for Christsakes.
As members of the 1.1-billion Catholic community celebrated Christmas around the world, thousands of pilgrims gathered in Bethlehem where Latin Patriarch Foud Twal, the most senior Roman Catholic cleric in the Holy Land, said the region’s aspiration of peace remained out of reach.
What a name!
“The wish that we most want, we most hope for, is not coming,” he said after passing into Bethlehem in a traditional holiday procession from nearby Jerusalem.
Oh, oh!
“We want peace.”
Oh…peace? Of all the things on Earth, like shiny automobiles and sixth dimensions?
The incident involving the Pope lasted only a few seconds and was caught on camera by at least one eyewitness.
YouTube, mofos.
The Pope will next year celebrate his 83rd birthday. He is in relatively good health for his age but he was clearly shaken by the incident and stumbled several times over words in his homily.
Homily. Sounds like a perfume.
This was undoubtedly the most serious breach of security inside the Vatican in recent years.
Argh, call the cops!
Although the Pope was physically unharmed by this sudden attack, security arrangements at papal ceremonies will have to be urgently reviewed as there was apparently a similar, but unsuccessful, attempt to hurt the Pope last Christmas.
By the same woman. Keep up, news!
Dressed in a red hooded sweatshirt, the attacker leaped over the barrier towards the Pope, prompting gasps from the crowd.
GASPS. Gasps. Really?
“All of a sudden this person sort of flew over the barricade and the Holy Father went down and all of a sudden all the security people were all on top of it, you know the whole pile there, getting her off and pulling him back up,” eyewitness MaryBeth Burns, a US tourist, told the Associated Press.
Sort of. Brilliant.
Security officials rushed down the main aisle to detain the woman, who was later arrested by police.
Rushed. Okay. Now I’m just picking out words.
Her name was not immediately known but the Vatican confirmed she was the same person who had tried to jump a barricade to get close to the Pope at the same service last year.
Was it her? Was it not? Don’t forget – “there was apparently a similar, but unsuccessful, attempt to hurt the Pope last Christmas”. Make your mind up, news.
The Pope had to be helped up by the master of ceremonies at his side, the BBC’s David Willey in Rome says.
tl;dr
The theme of his homily was selfishness which, he said, “makes us prisoners of our interests and our desires”.
How ironic.
The Vatican said earlier that the decision to move the midnight Mass to 2200 (2100 GMT) was “to make Christmas a little less tiring for the Pope, who has many engagements”.
What the fuck else is he doing at midnight? Fucking?
The pontiff earlier appeared briefly at nightfall at the window of his studio to light a candle in a sign of peace.
A window? Seriously. A studio? Looks like even the Pope wants to be Ross Gellar.
In Bethlehem, festivities began with a traditional boy scout band and ended with midnight Mass in St Catherine’s Church, next to the Church of the Nativity.
Woop, woop!
Arriving in Bethlehem, the Latin Patriarch said people in the region wanted freedom of movement.
Who else is bored of the Pope?
“We don’t want walls, we don’t want separation fences.”
What if you drew on his face with a permanent marker?
Addressing worshippers, he added: “[This land's] inhabitants are brothers who see each other as enemies.
It’s a plan.
“This land will deserve to be called holy when she breathes freedom, justice, love, reconciliation, peace and security.”
You get the marker, I’ll get the boat.
The Mass was said next to the church built over the stall where Mary is believed to have given birth to Jesus.
Boat, I hear you say? Why, yes.
Some 300 Christians over the age of 35 from the Gaza Strip were given permission by the Israeli military to leave the territory and come to Bethlehem for 24 hours to celebrate Christmas.
It’s. Only. Christmas. ,. People.
A total of 15,000 tourists are expected in the town during this period, in a year that has seen a record number of visitors – some 1.6 million.
“Do They Know It’s Christmas”, turkey and pigs in blankets.
Merry Christmas.
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